fund for anthon

many of our family and friends have asked what they can do to help us in our time of grief. we are so thankful for the thoughtful flowers, food, and other acts of kindness. many have offered financial help for the medical bills. this would be the most needed support at this time. we will be setting up a bereavement fund in Anthon's honor at Wells Fargo Bank in the next few days. we are so grateful for all the support, love and concern that you have all shown in these last 2 months. it has been a great trial, but we know that our sweet angel is safe with family who have also passed.

anthon shaw anderson october 9, 2010 - November 19, 2010

anthon

our sweet baby passed away early this morning. very sudden problem related to his intestines. thanks for all the love and support.

and another thing...

i forgot to mention my sweet baby anthon. he has been doing great. graduated from the "sickly" baby room to a more "stable" baby room. right now our biggest concern is that he is not gaining much weight. and in my calculations he must gain 18 grams a day (about 1/2 oz) in order to be 4.5 LBS by christmas. and last night he did not gain anything. ugh. so they are working on trying to fatten him up. right now he weighs 2 LBS 14.5 OZ. so fat chants in his honor would be greatly appreciated.

i have been a little on the frustrated side since anthon got moved rooms. it is a long story that may turn into a ridiculous rant, but the nurses are a little "do di do" as of late. i even complained about one and may now turn into that anderson mom who hates all nurses. but whatev. and then last night he had a nurse that was so overly protective that she freaked me right out by telling me about possible infections, and how they drew all these labs. she says, perhaps we will have an NNP call you in the middle of the night if it comes back bad. thank goodness it so far isn't anything too concerning. i will know more later today. although i was scared, i am thankful that she was concerned and did what she needed to do, rather than ignore his monitors and get frustrated that he is even there...

in henry news, he got his christmas pressie a little early. i got him the vtech mobigo. i just feel bad about all the driving he has to put up with, so i thought this might help. he calls it his "peter" for computer and loves it so far. however, the ride home last night still entailed a complete meltdown right at our usual spot (thanksgiving point) about how he needed to get out of the car and ride in daddy's. hopefully he will start understanding his "peter" a little better and things will go more smooth.

in daddy news, he is exhausted and is still having issues at school. can't say much else for fear that someone will hack into our account and read this and fire him. lets just say he is down in the dumps. he could use some cheering up. perhaps T-giving and his bday next week will give him a pick me up.

in mommy news, i am feeling better physically, but also exhausted and irritable. i'm in that one phase of crisis, i think its called the "hate" phase or "angry" phase or "over it" phase. anyway i had to apologize to a friend because i was just really un"friendly" to her. so if i have offended you, let me know. because i probably have and don't even know it.

read down for more...

i just can't figure out why...

so in all my driving alone, sitting alone, thinking alone i have noticed that i have been wondering a lot about things that don't make sense to me. and i ponder them daily because i have a lot of alone time. so my top 5 things that i just can't figure out lately are:

1. why people rake leaves and put them in bags to throw away... leaves are born on a tree and live their life waiting to fall free and dance and flitter around. and then people rake them and put them in bags where they rot and mold and that is where they die. i am not opposed to raking the leaves and jumping in a big pile of them, or using them for compost (e nice) but why waste time ruining the excitement for the leaves?

2. why people have undying devotion for taylor swift... she's adorable and sweet - i get that. but her voice is like being pushed over in a port-o-potty. it hurts my ears to hear her. sorry TS lovers.

3. why people care that gay people get married...

4. why OR personnel continue to wear their OR gear after they are in the OR... seriously, we common folk at the hospital cafeteria do not care that you just performed, assisted, sat there during a surgery. so take off your booties, mesh hats, and masks and leave them in the OR.

5. why christmas time is so fascinating to people... please share your stories of why you are obsessed with christmas (alisha) so that i can understand why the music, deco, shopping, etc starts day after halloween. i wonder this every year.

now i just sound like an ornery humbug. but i do have A LOT of time alone and so i think about these things and i feel bad for the leaves and the gays and the hanukkah celebrators. it keeps me going so that i can say i can't stop until i understand these things more clearly. thanks for your comments on helping me figure it all out...

one cheeseburger and a baby nugget please...

some pictures:

hen in his cheeseburger halloween costume. anthon was sick over the holiday, so we didn't get many (and by many i mean zero) pictures of little hen in his costume. so this is my attempt at pretending that halloween did happen in 2010. could you die at how adorable he is?

anthon at 2 lbs 12 oz

wide awake after a diaper change.

not great quality, but if you know hen then you would know this looks exactly like him when he is telling stories or trying to be serious.

mommy getting snuggle time.

love the andersons

nickname

so i have been meaning to post all the good news about anthon, but have been waiting to get pictures. alas, i never have my camera near the computer, so i will make a quick update and then try to get some pics posted.

poor little anthon has a name that is hard to pronounce and there have been many issues along the way with naming him. i had a fear that no one would be able to pronounce his name correctly - and my fear has quickly come true at the NICU. so, anthon's favorite :) uncle has come up with a nickname for him... ACE. so if you have a hard time pronouncing anthon, or just hate it like said uncle, then call him ace.

anthon is off the CPAP on a high flow nasal cannula. as soon as they get him off the high flow, he will be able to start eating from "the nipple" as they call it at the NICU - gross. anyway, as most of you know, i am not fond of the act of breast feeding on any level. its just not for me. so, hopefully his feedings will go quick because he gets to start right with the bottle (after he masters the pacifier, which he LOVES already by the way).

let me tell you a little about baby ace's personality. boy is he a diva - like mommy!! this little guy cannot STAND having his diaper wet or poopy. he throws the biggest fit the second anything touches the diaper. and he gets fussy - like holding breath crying fits - before his 3 hour CARES (change, feed, etc). he is not letting anything get past the nurses now. if he has any procedure done - like head ultrasound, eye exam, ect - he freaks right out and gets his little versed (sedation). that sounds horrible, but it helps him continue to breath etc. who said there was anything wrong with a little sedation now and then? certainly not mommy :) our little guy is a fiesty one. can't wait to get him home!!

as you can tell, i am feeling sooo much better. i have been on 3 antibiotics and through like 90 diseases in the last 5 weeks, but after some much needed TLC from nana i am doing much better. ok mca, that is not to say that you haven't been amazing at taking care of me as well. check previous posts for my undying love and appreciation to you for your amazing wife devotion. now i just need a full time assistant to help me get stuff done like shopping, painting, decorating - x are you hearing your name being called?

ok, hopefully i will get some pics up soon. he is sure getting fat!! ha. funny, but he does look a lot more filled out. its crazy what 12 oz can do for a baby.

love you all - the andersons.

off the vent

anthon was taken off the vent today and is now back on the CPAP. just a little longer and he will only need a nasal cannula again. they continue to increase the amount of milk he is getting and he is gaining weight. he is getting close to 3 LBS!!

nana is leaving tomorrow. this next week will be hard without her. not only is the list insanely long of what she did around the house, but her moral support has been greatly needed and appreciated. hopefully i can convince her to come back soon. after we left the NICU today, she said "i'll probably be back before anthon comes home. it just seems like too long to wait to see him again". i will have to give him a high 5 tomorrow for his secret ways of getting nana back up here :)what will we do to ever repay her? thanks nana for all you have done for us. we love you and miss you already.

i am feeling very grateful to many of those who have helped and supported us lately. i was really sick a couple of weeks ago and our good friend matt made his sweet little kiddies miss out on their halloween party to help me. mca's sister kristy has been so amazing at jumping to take hen whenever we need. several of my work pals have donated sick hours to me so i can get a paycheck. my favorite schoolmate and friend went around our class for donations for a super sweet baby gift. and the list goes on and on. i have like 10 thousand thank you cards to get out because of everyone's generosity. we are so thankful for our amazing family and friends.

loves - the andersons

on the mend

anthon is doing much better. it looks like he is getting over the UTI. he is back to eating breast milk and gaining weight. they are also working on weening him off the vent. then he will go back to his "fighter pilot" hat (CPAP) and then back to the nasal cannula.

today is anthon's one month birthday. i cannot believe that i had him 4 weeks ago. in some aspects, it has flown past. hopefully the next two months will go by just as fast.

having nana here has been a wonderful blessing. i wish she could stay forever, it is so nice to have the support. thanks mom for all you have done for us in the last few days. we are forever grateful.

loves - the andersons

crossing our fingers

the doctors ruled out meningitis!!! anthon only has a urinary tract infection - which his NNP said "rocked his world". he is doing better though, he had a good night. so we are just crossing our fingers that he continues to trend upward in getting better.

in mommy news, we thought i also had a UTI and mastitis. however, now i am retaining 11 LBS (yes in 1 day 11 LBS) of water and my urine output is pretty non-existent. waiting to hear back from the doctor to see if it is my kidneys.

halloween was a super big bust this year. thanks to the weather and infections. but hen had a BLAST at the robertson's and got to wear his cheeseburger costume that i wrangled from old navy last minute for $5. pics to come.

loves - the andersons

so our little guy has had a small turn over the weekend. through a ton of testing they have narrowed it down to a urinary tract infection, which he didn't like so much. at this point he is recovering. they still haven't ruled out spinal meningitis, we will know more about that hopefully tomorrow.

he is on a ventilator to help him breathe so he doesn't have to work as hard at that and can concentrate on getting better. he won't need to be on that for very long, and then will graduate back to the CPAP, nasal cannula, ect. he did have a chest xray and one lung looks a little collapsed so they are working on positioning him in a way to get it to blow back up? i am so bad at knowing exactly what is going on, but i think that is the idea...

they thought the PDA in his heart had grown bigger again due to the infection, but he had an echo and it is the same size before the infection, so no worries on that yet.

he had a blood transfusion, which helped a lot. he may need another one in the future, but things seem to be ok right now.

he is gaining weight too, he is a little over 2 1/2 lbs. its funny how little that is, but shows on him. his little eyes don't bug out so much like our little ET when he was born :)

its a little early in the morning, so i am sure i have forgotten something, but all in all he is doing better. infections are a scary thing for these babies, so we have been stressed out a little, but he is a fighter!!!

nana is coming tomorrow. and i couldn't be more happy. i have an amazing husband and we are getting through this together, but there is nothing like having your mom with you in this kind of time. i am heartbroken that he cannot have his with him. but we can feel her blessings (and grandpa ed's) from heaven are raining down on our little guy.

loves - the andersons